Stephanie Briscoe LCMHCS NCC CEAP | November 14, 2025

There comes a point in every person’s journey where the patterns that once helped us cope become the very patterns that hold us back. These aren’t always dramatic or catastrophic moments. Sometimes it’s the subtle exhaustion we feel after repeating the same argument, the familiar anxiety that rises when life feels unpredictable, or the heaviness in our spirit when we keep forcing something that God is gently trying to release from our grip.

Learning to shift from resistance to renewal requires a different kind of strength the kind that embraces humility, flexibility, and trust. It asks us to notice our reactions, uncover the stories we tell ourselves, and step into new ways of responding that move us toward emotional maturity and spiritual growth. This shift is not about perfection. It’s about awareness. It’s about noticing when we’ve outgrown an old survival pattern and choosing to step into something healthier, even when it feels unfamiliar.

Recognizing When Resistance Is Running the Show

Most people don’t resist change because they’re stubborn; they resist because something inside them feels threatened. When discomfort surfaces, the mind immediately reaches for an explanation that makes sense of the feeling. It might sound like, “I need to protect myself,” “This always happens,” or “I can’t trust anyone.” Pausing long enough to identify these thoughts is powerful. Instead of reacting automatically, we learn to ask two grounding questions:

What am I trying to protect? and What story am I telling myself right now?

These questions interrupt the internal autopilot and allow us to see the difference between the current moment and the old wound that may be fueling our reaction. Scripture invites us to transformation through this very process—“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). Renewal begins with noticing the narratives that keep us stuck.

Choosing Understanding Over Reaction

Old habits often show up the moment uncertainty, disappointment, or discomfort appears. Some shut down. Some go into fix-it mode. Others try to regain control through perfectionism, overexplaining, or emotional distance. These are protective strategies, not personal flaws. The shift happens when we choose curiosity instead of criticism:

Why did this moment upset me? What emotion surfaced first? What belief followed?

This movement toward understanding softens judgment and opens the door to internal flexibility. Instead of treating our reactions as failures, we can treat them as invitations—a chance to practice a new way of thinking. As Proverbs 16:21 reminds us, “The wise in heart are called discerning.” Discernment isn’t instant; it grows every time we pause long enough to understand ourselves.

Connecting Instead of Controlling

One of the most challenging shifts is moving from control to connection. Control feels safe it gives the illusion that we can protect ourselves from disappointment. But genuine connection requires vulnerability, empathy, and presence.

Even small acts of connection can loosen the grip of rigid thinking: doing something thoughtful for someone without being asked, stepping into their world for a moment, or listening to understand rather than listening to defend. These moments strengthen empathy, soften fear, and help us relate from a place of openness instead of anxiety.

Philippians 2:3–4 encourages this mindset: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” This spiritual perspective mirrors the emotional shift from self-protection to relational intention.

Inviting Collaboration Without Defensiveness

Growth is rarely a solo journey. Sometimes the people closest to us are mirrors that reflect areas we’ve overlooked. Asking a loved one what they need more of from us can be humbling but it’s also deeply transformative. If we can receive feedback without defensiveness, we create space for transformation. We build relationship patterns rooted in transparency instead of fear, cooperation instead of control. This is the work of emotional maturity choosing growth over ego.

Reflecting With God: Where Resistance Ends and Renewal Begins

Renewal is not a one-time event; it’s a rhythm. At the end of each week, taking time to reflect especially in God’s presence provides clarity and realignment. This is where the “aha” moments surface: where we recognize how God has strengthened us, where we resisted, where we softened, and where we experienced small but meaningful shifts.

Proverbs 3:5–6 reminds us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” When we pause and reflect with God, we stop depending on old patterns and learn to lean into His guidance instead.

When God Uses Closed Doors to Redirect Your Path

Lysa TerKeurst writes in It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way, ©2018

“Sometimes God will close a door because He has something better, not because He’s rejecting you.”

This perspective reframes what many people interpret as abandonment or personal failure. When every attempt to hold something together leads to emotional exhaustion, it’s often a sign that God is shifting the chapter, not punishing the person. For those who have spent years trying to be “what they think they need to be,” closed doors may actually be divine protection or redirection. What feels like rejection can be the first step toward renewal. What feels like loss may be the clearing that makes space for growth. What feels like the end may be the starting place for who God is shaping you to become.

Final Thoughts: Renewal Begins With Permission

Giving yourself permission to grow, to feel, to reflect, and to lay down old survival habits is courageous work. Shifting from resistance to renewal is not about becoming someone new, it’s about becoming who you were always meant to be. Growth lives in the space between awareness and action. And every small shift you make is a sign of spiritual maturity, emotional clarity, and internal renewal.

About the Author

Stephanie Briscoe, NCC, LCMHCS, LPCS, CEAP, is a clinical supervisor, professional development trainer, author, and workshop facilitator. As CEO and Lead Clinician of Mirror 2 the Heart PLLC, she integrates her counseling expertise with her signature ARC Mentality™ framework to help individuals and organizations embrace accountability, relatability, and consistency. With a blend of faith, insight, and practical strategies, Stephanie equips others to heal, grow, and thrive with purpose.