Green Flag Check: 5 Questions to Ask Before Dating Someone New

Green Flag Check: 5 Questions to Ask Before Dating Someone New
May 15th, 2024.

Dating can be exhilarating and nerve-wracking at the same time, especially when you're getting to know someone new. But before you dive headfirst into a new relationship, it's important to ask the right questions to ensure you're compatible and aligned with your potential partner's values and goals.

Here are five questions to consider before taking the plunge:

What Are Your Long-Term Relationship Goals?

Understanding your date's long-term relationship goals is crucial for determining compatibility. Are they looking for something casual or a committed, long-term partnership? Knowing this early on can help you decide if your relationship aspirations align or if you're on different paths.

Long-term relationship goals shape the trajectory of a partnership and influence the level of commitment both parties are willing to invest. Whether your date envisions a traditional marriage with children, prioritizes career advancement before settling down, or seeks a lifelong partnership without formal marriage, understanding their aspirations provides clarity on whether your relationship visions align.

Some individuals prioritize finding a life partner with whom they can build a family and share life's joys and challenges. If marriage and starting a family are important to you, it's essential to ascertain if your date shares similar desires for the future.

Others may prioritize personal and professional growth, seeking a partner who supports their ambitions and shares similar career aspirations. Understanding how your date balances career aspirations with relationship commitments can shed light on potential compatibility.

How Do You Handle Conflict?

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but how you and your partner navigate it can make or break the connection. Asking about their conflict resolution style can give you insight into their communication skills, emotional intelligence, and willingness to work through challenges together.

Conflict resolution is a crucial aspect of a healthy relationship, as it determines how couples address disagreements, manage emotions, and find solutions collaboratively. Understanding your date's approach to conflict can reveal their communication style, ability to empathize, and willingness to prioritize the relationship's well-being amidst challenges.

Some individuals prefer direct and assertive communication when addressing conflict, while others may lean towards avoidance or passive-aggressive behavior. Exploring how your date communicates during disagreements can provide insight into their communication skills and willingness to engage in open dialogue.

How your date manages their emotions during conflict can impact the intensity and duration of disagreements. Individuals who practice emotional regulation techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or taking breaks to cool off may demonstrate greater emotional intelligence and resilience in resolving conflicts constructively.

What Are Your Core Values?

Core values form the foundation of who we are and guide our decisions and actions. Understanding your date's core values can help you determine if you share similar beliefs and priorities in life. Whether it's family, career, spirituality, or personal growth, aligning values can strengthen your connection.

Core values serve as guiding principles that shape our behaviors, attitudes, and life choices. When individuals share similar core values, they are more likely to experience alignment, understanding, and mutual support within a relationship. Exploring your date's core values can reveal compatibility and potential areas of synergy or divergence in your personal and relational priorities.

Some individuals prioritize family relationships, placing a high value on spending time with loved ones, supporting each other through challenges, and creating meaningful traditions and memories. Exploring your date's views on family dynamics, roles, and traditions can highlight shared values and potential sources of connection.

For others, career fulfillment and personal achievement are central to their identity and sense of purpose. Understanding your date's career aspirations, work ethic, and attitudes towards success can provide insight into their priorities and lifestyle preferences.

How Do You Spend Your Free Time?

Shared interests and hobbies can enhance your relationship and create opportunities for bonding and mutual enjoyment. Asking about your date's leisure activities and passions can reveal commonalities and potential activities to explore together in the future.

How individuals choose to spend their free time reflects their interests, priorities, and values outside of work or obligations. Exploring your date's leisure activities provides insight into their personality, lifestyle preferences, and potential compatibility for shared experiences and recreational pursuits.

Whether it's hiking, camping, cycling, or exploring nature trails, outdoor enthusiasts find joy and fulfillment in connecting with the great outdoors. Discovering shared interests in outdoor activities can provide opportunities for adventure, exploration, and bonding in natural settings.

From painting and photography to cooking and crafting, creative individuals find inspiration and self-expression through artistic endeavors. Exploring your date's creative interests and passions can spark conversations, foster creativity, and even lead to collaborative projects or shared hobbies.

Some individuals enjoy intellectual stimulation through reading, attending lectures, or engaging in philosophical discussions. Sharing intellectual interests can deepen your connection, stimulate meaningful conversations, and provide opportunities for mutual growth and learning.

What Are Your Non-Negotiables in a Relationship?

We all have non-negotiables – those qualities or behaviors that are essential for a fulfilling relationship. Whether it's honesty, trust, respect, or compatibility, knowing your partner's non-negotiables can help you gauge if your values and expectations align, setting the stage for a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Non-negotiables serve as foundational principles that individuals uphold in relationships, representing their boundaries, values, and priorities. Understanding your date's non-negotiables provides insight into their expectations, deal-breakers, and relationship requirements, allowing you to assess compatibility and alignment early on.

Many individuals prioritize honesty and trust as non-negotiables in relationships, valuing transparency, integrity, and reliability in their interactions with a partner. Discussing your attitudes towards honesty, loyalty, and trustworthiness can foster open communication and establish a foundation of mutual respect and accountability.

Respectful communication, active listening, and mutual appreciation are often non-negotiables for individuals seeking healthy and harmonious relationships. Exploring your date's expectations regarding communication styles, conflict resolution, and boundaries can promote understanding and emotional safety within the relationship.

Related: 10 Ways to Improve Your Relationship for Valentine’s Day


Asking these five questions before diving into a new relationship can provide valuable insight into your compatibility and potential for long-term happiness together. Don't be afraid to have open and honest conversations with your date – it's better to know where you stand early on than to invest time and energy into a relationship that may not be right for you.

Ready to navigate the complexities of dating and relationships with confidence? You can always count on Mirror 2 the Heart. Our Coaching service is here to support you every step of the way. Contact us today at (980) 859-3331 or [email protected].

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