By Stephanie Briscoe, NCC, LCMHCS, CEAP
Tuesday, July 22, 2025

There are seasons in life when you find yourself surrounded by people who bring chaos, messiness, or even manipulative behaviors into your environment. Sometimes, you can simply step back and create distance. But what happens when those people are family members, coworkers, or others you can’t readily walk away from?

This is one of the most common concerns I hear from clients and readers alike. Whether it’s a relative who thrives on drama or a colleague who continually stirs conflict, learning how to set boundaries without breaking relationships is crucial for mental health and spiritual peace.

In this post, we’ll explore how to handle these challenging dynamics through both a mental health and a spiritual lens, while giving you actionable tips to apply right away.

Why This Matters for Your Mental Health

Living or working around constant chaos has real effects on your mind and body. You might feel:

• Drained
• Anxious
• Resentful

When someone continually pulls you into manipulative conversations, your sense of stability and confidence can erode.

Signs of Stress from Toxic Interactions

According to psychologists, repeated exposure can lead to:

• Difficulty sleeping or staying focused
• A sense of dread before family gatherings or workdays
• Emotional exhaustion, burnout, or withdrawal

In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) terms, our thoughts shape our emotions, which drive our behaviors. For example:

“There’s no way to handle this person” → Feeling powerless → Avoiding conflict but silently suffering

Replacing Toxic Thoughts

The good news? You can replace those thoughts:

“I can’t control them, but I can control my response.”
“I am not obligated to absorb someone else’s chaos.”

When you act on these truths by setting boundaries and regulating your reactions, your mental health begins to recover.

Why This Matters for Your Spiritual Life

Scripture does not call us to be doormats. Instead, it teaches us to walk in love and wisdom.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” — Romans 12:18

You are not responsible for someone else’s behavior, but you are responsible for guarding your own heart and walking in a way that honors God.

Even Jesus set boundaries during His ministry:

• He withdrew from crowds to pray (Luke 5:16)
• He didn’t answer every accuser
• He slipped away from those who intended harm

Boundaries are biblical — they protect the mission God has placed on your life.

7 Practical Tips to Thrive Mentally and Spiritually

Here are seven ways to handle challenging relationships when you can’t walk away — blending mental health strategies and spiritual wisdom.

1. Clarify Your Boundaries

Mentally: Be specific:

“I will not engage in gossip.”
“I will not stay in conversations that become verbally abusive.”

Spiritually: Pray over your list and ask God for strength.

Sample phrases:

“I’m not comfortable discussing this.”
“I need to step away from this conversation for now.”

2. Practice Emotional Detachment, Not Coldness

Mentally: Remind yourself:

“This is their storm, not mine.”

Spiritually:

“Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.” — Matthew 10:16

Before a triggering moment:

“Lord, guard my heart and my tongue today. Help me to speak with grace and stand firm in truth.”

3. Limit Your Availability

Mentally: Schedule buffer time after interactions.

Spiritually:

“There is a time for everything.” — Ecclesiastes 3:1

Use simple exits:

“I’m heading out early tonight.”
“I can’t stay on this call much longer.”

4. Choose Calm Over Reaction

Mentally: Pause. Count to 10. Breathe.

Spiritually:

“A soft answer turns away wrath.” — Proverbs 15:1

Tip: Silently repeat:

“Peace be still.”

5. Build a Support System

Mentally: Talk with a counselor, trusted friend, or mentor.

Spiritually: Lean on your faith community.

Resilience grows when you’re reminded you’re not alone.

6. Pray for the Person But Release the Outcome

Mentally: Accept you cannot control their choices.

Spiritually:

“Pray for those who mistreat you.” — Matthew 5:44

Prayer releases the burden to God.

7. Guard Your Peace Daily

Mentally: Start your day with a grounding routine — deep breathing, journaling, a short walk.

Spiritually: Begin with Scripture and prayer.

“Seek peace and pursue it.” — Psalm 34:14

When It’s Family

Family dynamics can be emotionally complex. Try:

• Keeping conversations surface level
• Planning shorter visits
• Meeting in neutral locations
• Using an exit strategy:
  “I need to step out early today, but let’s catch up again soon.”

When It’s a Coworker

Work relationships demand professionalism and tact:

• Document problematic behavior
• Redirect with:
  “Let’s stay focused on the project.”
• Involve a supervisor or HR if needed
• Take quiet breaks to reset

Healing for the Mind and Spirit

This journey isn’t just about managing conflict — it’s about protecting your purpose and nurturing your mental and spiritual health.

You are not called to live in chaos to prove loyalty.
You are not required to tolerate manipulation to show love.

Jesus modeled boundaries. Scripture supports wisdom. Mental health tools equip you to live in peace — even when you can’t walk away.

Final Encouragement

If this resonates with you, take heart.

You’re not alone. You’re not wrong for wanting healthier spaces.

Start with one:

• Boundary
• Prayer
• Pause

You will see the fruit — in clarity and peace.

“The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.” — Psalm 29:11

About the Author

Stephanie Briscoe, NCC, LCMHCS, CEAP, is the CEO of Mirror 2 the Heart PLLC, a faith-based counseling and coaching practice. With years of experience, she specializes in helping individuals and organizations:

• Build boundaries
• Cultivate resilience
• Thrive in environments that honor mental health and spiritual walk